Blog –

Lizard Brain

I started this post a long time ago but Googling “lizard brain” took me clicking from website to website like a hungry learner on crack. I’m proud to finally be writing something. Over the weekend I read, Poke the Box. In the book, Seth Godin refers to some work by Steven Pressfield and what he calls the lizard brain. I have one. We all have one.

Scientists can identify precisely where your lizard brain lives. This is your prehistroic early being, the same brain that’s in the lizard or the deer. Filled with fear, intent only on reproduction.

Steven Pressfield gives the voice of the lizard brain a name. He calls it resistance. And the resistance is talking to you as you read this, urging you to compromise, to not be a troublemaker, to avoid rash moves. For many of us, the resistance is always chattering away, frequently sabotaging our best opportunities and ruining our best change to do great work. (Poke the Box, page 18)

Sometimes my brain makes me mad. I don’t want a dumb walnut sized brain running my life-but I think it is. In small thoughts (bigger than a walnut though), I’m finding that I’ve been telling myself I’m destined for mediocre. I tell myself I’m below average, or worse: average.

But what if I’m not? What if you’re not either? What if we really-REALLY- believed that we could ninja kick our lizard brain and do great things?

I wonder how my life would look different if I were able to overcome the resistance, the self doubt, and the unsure voice.

I will beat you lizard. Maybe not this week, but each day I will take a step to overcome you!

love,
lizard fighting Hanna

Mondays Are Great!

I’m starting to see a startling trend: Mondays are forever difficult days for me. The clock is slower, the meetings are longer, and the topics are harder. But I’ve never been one to take crap from any day of the week, not even you Monday! So this is it. Today is going to be great!

If the black hole of nebulous weirdness opens up, I have worked all day Sunday to build up my forcefield to avoid getting sucked in. I’ve eaten my spinach, done my crunchies, and taken 2 multivitamins (for good luck).

My Mondays are changing.

Mondays Are Great!

I’m starting to see a startling trend: Mondays are forever difficult days for me. The clock is slower, the meetings are longer, and the topics are harder. But I’ve never been one to take crap from any day of the week, not even you Monday! So this is it. Today is going to be great!

If the black hole of nebulous weirdness opens up, I have worked all day Sunday to build up my forcefield to avoid getting sucked in. I’ve eaten my spinach, done my crunchies, and taken 2 multivitamins (for good luck).

My Mondays are changing.

The Rules of Improv

Thanks to a surprise gift from a friend, I’m reading Bossypants by Tina Fey. I hate book reviews so I won’t make you read a play by play about each chapter I complete (I’ll save that for dinner conversation with my husband- he’ll like that!). But still, there is one section in the book that I’d like to note for purposes of this blog post.

Tina (while reading her book, I’m on a first name basis with her) writes about the rules for Improvisation. Here’s a summary of them taken straight from pages 84-85:

Agree. Always agree to enter into this kind of relationship and say ‘yes’.
Not only agree and say ‘yes’, but YES, AND… You’re supposed to agree and then add something of your own. (Saying yes, and means don’t be afraid to contribute. It’s your responsibility to contribute’
Make statements. Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions.
There are no mistakes.

I’ve been thinking about these rules in the context of relationship and I wonder if what is true for improv is also true for friendships. I ask myself: do I agree to enter into relationship, do I add something to the relationships I’m in, do I make statements instead of always asking questions, am I afraid to make mistakes.

I wonder how this plays out with your close relationships.

There’s something romantic and organic about being in relationship with one another. Something happens when we let someone into our world to see ‘the real you’ when you let down your guard. If we allow it, relationships can be a powerful force for moving each of us towards a path of growth and light. At least that’s what I think anyway (see rule #4).

The Rules of Improv

Thanks to a surprise gift from a friend, I’m reading Bossypants by Tina Fey. I hate book reviews so I won’t make you read a play by play about each chapter I complete (I’ll save that for dinner conversation with my husband- he’ll like that!). But still, there is one section in the book that I’d like to note for purposes of this blog post.

Tina (while reading her book, I’m on a first name basis with her) writes about the rules for Improvisation. Here’s a summary of them taken straight from pages 84-85:

Agree. Always agree to enter into this kind of relationship and say ‘yes’.
Not only agree and say ‘yes’, but YES, AND… You’re supposed to agree and then add something of your own. (Saying yes, and means don’t be afraid to contribute. It’s your responsibility to contribute’
Make statements. Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions.
There are no mistakes.

I’ve been thinking about these rules in the context of relationship and I wonder if what is true for improv is also true for friendships. I ask myself: do I agree to enter into relationship, do I add something to the relationships I’m in, do I make statements instead of always asking questions, am I afraid to make mistakes.

I wonder how this plays out with your close relationships.

There’s something romantic and organic about being in relationship with one another. Something happens when we let someone into our world to see ‘the real you’ when you let down your guard. If we allow it, relationships can be a powerful force for moving each of us towards a path of growth and light. At least that’s what I think anyway (see rule #4).

Pep Talk Fail

Still. The silence in the room is the closest to contentment that I’ve felt in… a while. I haven’t made quiet space to allow deep breathing for me to just be me (whatever that means). I’m fried.
Each day I start out with a pep talk: I can do it. Then as each minute of the morning progresses, and the time slips away, my peppy words fade into the day and the slope of frustrated reality comes to the foreground. (Cue picture of me looking frustrated coming into focus.) Life is good though. I have a lot of things to be thankful for- lots of support, lots of love, and lots of life-giving friends. But to ‘name’ where I am, like any good psychologist would tell me to do, I’m in a place that just feels hard.
So my future to-do list includes getting rid of the things that feel hard. But for now, my left over post pep talk energy is saved for fixing up a house that Brandon and I just bought.
Peace to my homies. Hope you’re finding some time to enjoy the stillness.

Pep Talk Fail

Still. The silence in the room is the closest to contentment that I’ve felt in… a while. I haven’t made quiet space to allow deep breathing for me to just be me (whatever that means). I’m fried.

Each day I start out with a pep talk: I can do it. Then as each minute of the morning progresses, and the time slips away, my peppy words fade into the day and the slope of frustrated reality comes to the foreground. (Cue picture of me looking frustrated coming into focus.)

Life is good though. I have a lot of things to be thankful for- lots of support, lots of love, and lots of life-giving friends. But to ‘name’ where I am, like any good psychologist would tell me to do, I’m in a place that just feels hard.

So my future to-do list includes getting rid of the things that feel hard. But for now, my left over post pep talk energy is saved for fixing up a house that Brandon and I just bought.

Peace to my homies. Hope you’re finding some time to enjoy the stillness.

I Chose Sad

I’m writing tonight about something that has been on my mind for quite some time. I’ve considered writing about it but never had the energy to put it into something comprehendible.

For the past 7 years, I’ve been involved in student ministry in some capacity. My involvement in the ministry stems largely from the value that I have for ‘building into the next generation.’ I used to work for someone who said, children are not the future, they are the now. I believe it. I believe it for each high school student I have ever met. And I don’t just mean the popular kids, I mean the unique ones too.

Years ago I met a incredible, honest, and constantly searching student. At 18, her parents grew tired of her searching so they decided it would be best if she moved out. She found her way to downtown to live at the YWCA. I loved our somewhat weekly meetings (even though I was often emotionally drained after our conversations). She struggled but she kept searching. Sometimes I would bring food and take her out to eat, other times we would just meet and talk. As she shared about each new (unhealthy) relationship she was in, the spiral downward began to take shape, which left her broken. (We’re all broken, but I mean she was truly fighting a dark brokenness.)

Eventually her cell phone was turned off, she moved, and stopped calling me. The cut off communication would sometimes jump start again and I would receive the random text reaching out. We would meet and talk though some of the ‘stuff’ but then weeks and months would go by with no word.

Then, I moved to Chicago and about a year after I moved away I received a call. She committed suicide. I honestly don’t know what to do with that. I really don’t.

I’m deeply saddened. Sometimes I’ll be walking down the hall and her name will come to mind. I’ll think of her and think of the brokenness, of our talks, and of her searching. Psychologists say that most feelings fit into one of the following main emotions: Sad, Angry, Scared, Happy, Excited, Tender. For me this one is an overwhelming sad.

Strictly sad. I’m sad that I wasn’t able to change the outcome of her life. I’m sad that she choose the most permanent way out of her pain. I’m sad that she choose this option rather than getting help.

I pray that God will use you and me to build into the next generation of student- that you’ll be a light for someone who needs it and that you won’t back down from reaching out. That is all for tonight.