Suffocating Fog

This morning I woke up at 3:30am (well actually 3:38am) to make it to Rockford, IL – for a triathlon- for Brandon. Love that man. The morning had thick air that the moon could not glow through and the roads were covered in a frothy fog. There were gaps where you could see into the dark cornfields but mostly, visibility was less than the headlights dimed by the consuming early morning air.


Thanks clouds and humidity for the obvious metaphor.


Some problems seem unfocused because of the fog that surrounds them. Answers are not clear. There are glimmers along the way that remind me of what’s ahead but I’m constantly pushing back the fog.


Is it better to pretend the fog is not there and zero visibility is the new reality? Or- is there a way to live (preferably healthy) in the suffocating fog?

Living A Better Story

The introvert in me lives on. After learning about Walden in school, I decided to start dreaming of residing in a simple home in the woods, growing a vegetable garden, and writing a book that changes the world for the better.

However, my recent self-searching, part narcissistic and part really powerful, completely erases my Walden-inspired story.

Even though I’m still writing the plot, I’ve come up with a better story:

Girl loves God. Girl found out it’s okay to know yourself and to let yourself be known to others. Girl finds that changing the world starts with a micro step- embracing self change. Girl is impatient but slowly starts to change the networks she’s a part of through deep relationship. Girl changes world with tiny steps that inspire and build into others. World is a brighter place because of girl.

I think we all want to be a part of a better story but, do we all have the motivation to take the first step and write chapter 1?

I can’t wait to go to Living a Better Story in Portland and learn how my story intertwines with the story of others and how I will learn to thrive as the hero in my own story.
Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

Living A Better Story

The introvert in me lives on. After learning about Walden in school, I decided to start dreaming of residing in a simple home in the woods, growing a vegetable garden, and writing a book that changes the world for the better.

However, my recent self-searching, part narcissistic and part really powerful, completely erases my Walden-inspired story.

Even though I’m still writing the plot, I’ve come up with a better story:

Girl loves God. Girl found out it’s okay to know yourself and to let yourself be known to others. Girl finds that changing the world starts with a micro step- embracing self change. Girl is impatient but slowly starts to change the networks she’s a part of through deep relationship. Girl changes world with tiny steps that inspire and build into others. World is a brighter place because of girl.


I think we all want to be a part of a better story but, do we all have the motivation to take the first step and write chapter 1?

I can’t wait to go to Living a Better Story in Portland and learn how my story intertwines with the story of others and how I will learn to thrive as the hero in my own story.


Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

Make the Yellow Brighter

I can’t remember the company but I remember the line from the commercial-

We don’t make post-it notes; we just make the yellow brighter.

I’ve been thinking about this in the context of my job but I think it has implications beyond 9-5. Most of the issues, situations, contexts, and moments that I experience, I don’t create. I’m a fixer, amplifier, lighter, thinker, and solution finder but not a creator.

I wish I were a creator- it sounds like less of a tool, but in the middle of who I am is someone who likes the background. I like to take what’s there and help it grow.

In the relationships that I have, the good ones and (begrudgingly) the tough ones, I want to make things brighter- take what’s there and build it. If I’m (still begrudgingly) honest, I wonder if I’m actually living that out- or just lighting a flashlight when I need the sun.

Make the Yellow Brighter



I can’t remember the company but I remember the line from the commercial-


We don’t make post-it notes; we just make the yellow brighter.

I’ve been thinking about this in the context of my job but I think it has implications beyond 9-5. Most of the issues, situations, contexts, and moments that I experience, I don’t create. I’m a fixer, amplifier, lighter, thinker, and solution finder but not a creator.

I wish I were a creator- it sounds like less of a tool, but in the middle of who I am is someone who likes the background. I like to take what’s there and help it grow.

In the relationships that I have, the good ones and (begrudgingly) the tough ones, I want to make things brighter- take what’s there and build it. If I’m (still begrudgingly) honest, I wonder if I’m actually living that out- or just lighting a flashlight when I need the sun.

Why Were You Not Hanna

I read so I can be smarter.

I recently read an excerpt from Let Your Life Speak: Listening to the Voice of Vocation (2000).

“There is a Hasidic tale that reveals, with amazing brevity, both the universal tendency to want to be someone else and the ultimate importance of becoming one’s self: Rabbi Zusya, when he was an old man, said, “In the coming world, they will not ask me: ‘Why were you not Moses?’ They will ask me; ‘Why were you not Zusya?'” (Parker J. Palmer, p. 11).

Ouch to the ouchmost degree. I look in the mirror and ask, Are you, you? And that’s when the frustration, anxiety, crazy (whatever term you want to call it) boils up and all signs of stress start to surface.
Maybe I’m roughly on the right track by chance or luck but I constantly think about answers to: Where should I be? Perhaps the right question is Who am I? and then the rest will fall into place.
Do you know you?

Why Were You Not Hanna

I read so I can be smarter.

I recently read an excerpt from Let Your Life Speak: Listening to the Voice of Vocation (2000).

“There is a Hasidic tale that reveals, with amazing brevity, both the universal tendency to want to be someone else and the ultimate importance of becoming one’s self: Rabbi Zusya, when he was an old man, said, “In the coming world, they will not ask me: ‘Why were you not Moses?’ They will ask me; ‘Why were you not Zusya?'” (Parker J. Palmer, p. 11).

Ouch to the ouchmost degree. I look in the mirror and ask, Are you, you? And that’s when the frustration, anxiety, crazy (whatever term you want to call it) boils up and all signs of stress start to surface.
Maybe I’m roughly on the right track by chance or luck but I constantly think about answers to: Where should I be? Perhaps the right question is Who am I? and then the rest will fall into place.
Do you know you?

10 Changes in 2 Years

Although I can admit that the past 2 years have been difficult, I can confidently write that I am thankful for them.

Sitting sweaty palmed in my first interview I asked for a challenge. Weeks later, when I was offered the position about 562 challenges plopped into my lap.

Hello challenges.
The best part of a challenge is the opportunity for growth. Here’s a list of my favorite changes in the past 2 years.

  1. I love my husband more
  2. I love God more
  3. I am learning how to love me
  4. I decided to (finally) sign up for a 1/2 marathon (and not just talk about it)
  5. I found people
  6. I enjoy our 1 family tradition: #PizzaFriday
  7. I discovered (discovering) that I like to solve problems
  8. I have an excuse to not attend every. single. family. event.
  9. I’m forced to learn everyday
  10. I can call Chicago home

There it is- the best part of the past 2 years in 10 easy to read points.

Keep on movin’

10 Changes in 2 Years

Although I can admit that the past 2 years have been difficult, I can confidently write that I am thankful for them.

Sitting sweaty palmed in my first interview I asked for a challenge. Weeks later, when I was offered the position about 562 challenges plopped into my lap.


Hello challenges.

The best part of a challenge is the opportunity for growth. Here’s a list of my favorite changes in the past 2 years.

  1. I love my husband more
  2. I love God more
  3. I am learning how to love me
  4. I decided to (finally) sign up for a 1/2 marathon (and not just talk about it)
  5. I found people
  6. I enjoy our 1 family tradition: #PizzaFriday
  7. I discovered (discovering) that I like to solve problems
  8. I have an excuse to not attend every. single. family. event.
  9. I’m forced to learn everyday
  10. I can call Chicago home

There it is- the best part of the past 2 years in 10 easy to read points.

Keep on movin’

Where’s Waldo


This photo is my version of Where’s Waldo. Except replace the word “Waldo” with “Hubble”. Look closely… our strange little dog is there…